Why You Should Forgive and Forget

Great minds always choose the future over the past. They think and talk about what to do now rather than using the past to destroy present.
Yesterday has gone, tomorrow is uncertain, why should people allow past events create an unhappy present? There is nothing you can do to change the past and you must pay attention to the today if you want to be successful in the future.

People with strong purpose and goals forget about the past and focus on today’s actions, initiatives and decisions for better tomorrow. Neither sadness nor depression can change the past life; the truth is, past life does not exist in the present. If you memory is visiting the past because of bad decisions or regret of certain actions, please be clear you cannot undo the decision or action. You have to acknowledge the past and ensure you do not repeat it again. Better still, teach your love ones about the lessons learned for them to avoid similar mistakes. In his book on Law of Success

Napoleon Hill said “if I allowed myself to feel depressed over my past, or filled my mind with worries, I would not be capable of carrying on the fight to redeem myself. Besides, I would be ungrateful to my Maker for having endowed me with wonderful health all my life. Is there any greater blessing?”

If human beings can change their past, some babies will go back and get born in another family or country. You see, it is not possible – you cannot sit the exams you failed or return the tears to your eye. Thank God, you have life and allow hope to shape your future.

If your past was a better story, learn to appreciate it but you still have to move on with more efforts. After all, you might want to growth and a better today than yesterday. If someone hurts you, forgive them and free your mind for a more value adding functionS.

As long as you don’t forgive, whoever and whatever it will occupy rent-free space in your mind – Isabelle Holland

 Yes, it can be very difficult to forgive some people but you are also hurting yourself. Imagine of a young adult who was hurt in a past relationship decided not to love anyone again. And get angry anytime someone talks about love. The person who hurt you is probably living life in another relationship but you are still living in the past and hurting yourself more.  This always remind me about

Nelson Mandel who said resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

 Don’t waste your precious time by spending too much time on the old stories. If you focus on the past, you will be missing the live games. Just use the past as learning point and move on.

How to Forgive

In his The Success Principles book, Jack Canfield listed out the following steps that are integral to forgiving:

  1. Acknowledge your anger and resentment.
  2. Acknowledge the hurt and pain it created.
  3. Acknowledge the fears and self-doubts that it created.
  4. Own any part you may have played in letting it occur or letting it continue.
  5. Acknowledge what you were wanting that you didn’t get, and then put yourself in the other person’s shoes and attempt to understand where he or she was coming from at that time, and what needs the person was trying to meet—however inelegantly—by his or her behavior.
  6. Let go and forgive the person.

Personally, today is more important than yesterday as tomorrow is a probability.

2 Comments on "Why You Should Forgive and Forget"

  1. When you read and stay connected to what you’re reading, it’s either you’re a good reader or it was a great piece you read and in this case, it was a great and all encompassing article on healthy living as it regards forgiving and forgetting. Thanks Bro..

    • Thank you for your feedback Daniel. Since last year, I have been reading a new book in every two month. This has improved my understanding of various aspect of personal success. I will continue to learn from builders like yourself & Fela.

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